*Nobody pays attention*

M1: “Koi sun lo yaar………..”

M2: “Mujhe bhi aati hai Urdu thodi bahut.. Bandiyo ko addressed cheez main kyun sunu?”

F1: “Aur, main husn-e-aalam hoon agar..
To tumhe kuchh zyaada hi chadh gayeli hai!!”

M2 suddenly remembers that song from DDLJ which goes like ‘jispe yuun fida ye dil ho gaya woh to teri ik saheli hai’, but he keeps quite.

M1: “arrey tussi vi shaayar ho gaye! “

F1: “Company ka asar hai! (points to F2) “

M2: “Oh, really,(F2)? We’d like to hear something..”

M1:  “Yeaa!”

F2: “Hum jo hote husn-e-aalam agar e dost..
Is mehfil me shaayar tum akele nahi hote.”

—-

November ka akhri saptaah, mumbai me aatank ka raaj tha
Shamshaan bana tha CST, aur terrorists ke kabze me Taaj tha
News channels ki commentary ka gair-jimmedaraana andaaz tha
Barkha dutt se janmaanas kuchh zyada hi naaraaz tha
Chyetanya Kunte ne bhi apni vyatha blog pe bayaan ki
Aao logo tumhe dikhaayen..
Barkha barsi Kunte pe, legal notice bhijwaya
blog entry hatwayi aur maafinaama likhwaaya
Random banda computer se kaise kuchh bhi likh paaya
Aaropo ke liye internet ka prayog awaanchhit batlaaya
(Ye to jaise infringement ho gayi news channels ke adhikar ki)
Aao logo tumhe dikhaayen..

Maana bande ne thoda excess hi likh daala tha
Par kahiin se bhi maanhani nahi kar daala tha
Allegedly ghotalebajo ko to media ne chor daaku bana dala tha
“Kya laalu ne chaara khaya?” aisa bhi keh daala tha
Auro ke haazme pe bharosa, par haalat gadbad khud ki intestine ki
Aao logo tumhe dikhaayen..

Kunte ke blog pe bloggers ne jab maafinaama tha dekha
Unka gussa foot pada aur barsana bhool gayii barkha
Mainstream media bhi chuup tha, koi nahi karta tha charcha
Gar kichad fenkte wo barkha par, thoda khud par bhi to girta
Har blogger bola, freedom of speech to hai har aam-o-khas insaan ki
Aao logo tumhe dikhayen..

if that sweet, pretty, masoomsi girl

who was sitting at the cafe the other day

and warding off mosquitos with a lighter

would stop smoking right away.

Alas, this doesn’t seem to happen this way.

***

Dear lady, please consider quitting smoking. I’d admit I find you really really hot with those curls of smoke, but it’s the curls of your hair that I’d rather die for.

But, of the effect of it
that gradually seeps into me
I’m scared.

Tu na samajhe na sahi, waah waah na kar!

I think, oh God, it was long, why didn’t I copy it first?

Then I read the post again.

It reads totally different.

And I thank God, and run fast.

…

Oh, that happens very often.

How many of your posts did I not comment on in last 6 months?

Please tell me.

I’d like to celebrate the fact that I am not a total moron.

…

Bolte hain jaane kab se, dabi dabi si zubaan mein
ke bahut hua, armaan ab saare nikaalenge yaaron.

Arse se zindagi mein kuchh achchha hua na bura
ke bahut hua, jald hi kuchh macha lenge yaaron.

Yaadon mein kisi ki kab tak baithe rahenge hum
ke bahut hua, nazar kisi aur se mila lenge yaaron

Haseeno se keh do wo ‘reader discretion’ bartein..
Shabdon ka taraazu to hum jald hi hata lenge yaaron.