Khayaal..

Baarish ke baad ke
Wo umsaaye se lambe pal
Aur phir wo pehla jhaunka hawa ka;
Tanha si raat mein,
Tera khayaal jaise,
Chhookar gujar gaya ho.

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~ by T.I. on 18/05/08.

7 Responses to “Khayaal..”

  1. Khayaal bhi ab tangential hone lage hain…

  2. Aur de gaya ho
    chhoti si ek muskaan
    bheegi is ek nazar
    lamba sa ek aur pal

  3. Very quietly expressed. 🙂

  4. [Divesh]
    😀
    Kya kahen.. uske jaise hi elusive hain uske khayaal bhi 😉

    [Phoenix]
    Oh.. I forgot to include the aftereffects 😀
    (Have I read those/similar lines on your blog or your crazy home maybe..? I feel like that..)

    [Vibhav]
    Originally I ended it at ‘jaise.’ i.e. it didn’t have the ‘chhokar gujar gaya ho’. Would you have liked that better? I’m unable to decide which version sounds subtler.

  5. I think the last line adds something to the poem. If it ended at “jaise” it would have the effect of a thought gently coming to you. Woh chhokar gujarne wala aspect of the wind, that is brought to attention only by the last line. Personally, I like this version better 🙂

  6. Thanks for the opinion. ‘Tanha si raat mein tera khayaal jaise’ were actually the lines I started it with, and therefore was feeling inclined to keep them intact. Anyway, overall meaning of the poem is equally important. 🙂

  7. agli subah humne socha
    tum the shayd nahi
    neend thi shayd nahi….
    Its awesome ya yun kahe khoobsurat khayal hain….

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